Dear Fortitude family,

Welcome back to my midweek motivation! Each day and week brings its own set of experiences and inspirations, compelling me to share my thoughts with all of you.

When avoidance becomes the goal, not achievement, you’ve found yourself in a place that you don’t want to be. We’ve all had problems in life that are hard. We’ve all had problems in life that we run from. However, when avoiding our problems, thoughts, and emotions becomes the norm, we find ourselves in a paralyzing state of mind. Anxiety begins to take over our mind and body. Soon we begin to lose control of our thoughts. We spiral to a place where we won’t even recognize the person in the mirror anymore. I’ve been there. One thing I can promise you is the only way out is through. I’m not saying it won’t be hard. I’m also not saying it won’t be painful. As I've learned and articulated before, everything you want in life is on the other side of pain. Facing your problems is painful, just as avoiding them is. You have to choose your pain. One ends in relief; the other, in despair.

There’s a popular belief that we can get rid of our feelings and emotions. That’s simply not true. We can, however, control our responses to our feelings and thrive in spite of them. Over time, consistently unpacking and understanding what we are feeling, it becomes natural to channel that energy in a positive direction. Now I want to clarify the word “positive” there. I’m not saying everything is happy-go-lucky. Positive, in this context, means actions that move your life forward in the right direction. The process of facing our problems involves rationally playing out each scenario in our minds. Our perception of a problem is derived from our fear of the outcome. If we can understand and rationalize those fears of the outcome, then it becomes easier to work through our problems with action. Whatever your problem, whether it's feeling pressure to perform, having a difficult conversation, or fearing loss, I challenge you to close your eyes and work through the worst-case scenario in your mind, then the best-case scenario. You'll likely realize that even in the worst-case scenario, you will still be fine. After ruthlessly practicing, it becomes easier to face our problems head-on because we’ve built competence in our understanding of the way our mind works. Then as we begin to face more of our problems, we build a skillset to fall back on when those fears come back.

Our mind begins to attack the worst of us when we are fixated on things out of our control like outcomes. What becomes imperative is that we drive that focus to things we can control or influence. The truth is, there’s always a range of possible outcomes. Your worst fear is a possible outcome. However, so is your wildest dream. Focusing on the anxiety that’s promoting your worst fear will distract from the joys of the outcomes that you do want. Perfection isn’t the goal; achievement is. So, let’s define achievement. It’ll be different for everyone. For me, achievement is truly maximizing my efforts every day. If I can push my personal growth forward in every obstacle or challenge every day, then that is a win, which looks different each day. Difficult conversations is a focus of mine recently. Many of my pursuits in life involve having tough conversations. Achievement to me is the feeling of the butterflies and pressures of the situation, navigating through those feelings, using that adrenaline and putting my best foot forward in those conversations. The best way for me to influence the outcome in my direction is to prepare not only in my works but my mind-body connection. The outcome is secondary. The win comes from the growth in competence. The more I attack my problems head-on, the more I look forward to that feeling of nerves and discomfort. I’ve begun to seek it out because I know that when those butterflies hit, I am about to do something pretty special. If I don’t have butterflies before confronting a problem, goal, or challenge, then that’s when I get concerned. I’ve frequently used the saying it takes 5-10 years to become an overnight success. It’s the same thing with skill development. Believe me, this is a skill, and we can all attain it. It simply takes time, relentless effort, and patience. One way or another, five years are going to go by. You have to make the conscious choice of dedicating the work on your mind. It’s never too late. Start today.

To Building Fortitude.

Warm regards,

Colin Jonov CEO & Founder, Athletic Fortitude

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