The Fortitude Chronicle: A Weekly Digest of Athletic Determination

Monday Momentum

For the Relentless Mind

You're Walking Past Life-Changing Lessons Every Day (And Don't Even Know It)

Life teaches you things when you're not trying to learn.

I was walking my daughter down the steps yesterday, holding her hand like I always do. She kept stumbling, almost falling with each step. My instinct was to grip tighter, to lift her higher, to carry more of her weight.

Then I noticed something. I was holding her so far off the ground she couldn't feel the steps beneath her feet. She wasn't learning to walk down stairs—she was learning to depend on my grip.

I lightened my hold. Became a guide instead of a carrier. Suddenly, she walked down those steps like she'd been doing it for years.

The lesson hit me immediately: Sometimes the help is the problem.

This pattern is everywhere once you start looking.

The manager who answers every question for their team instead of teaching them to think through problems. The team never develops judgment because they never have to use it.

The parent who does their teenager's homework to "help them succeed." The kid never learns to struggle through difficult concepts because struggle has been removed from the equation.

The friend who always offers solutions instead of listening. The relationship becomes one-sided because one person never gets to process their own thoughts.

The mentor who gives detailed instructions for every step instead of letting someone figure it out. The mentee never develops confidence because they never experience the satisfaction of independent problem-solving.

In each case, the helper means well. They see someone they care about facing difficulty and want to remove that difficulty. But difficulty isn't always the enemy—sometimes it's the teacher.

The difference between carrying someone and guiding them is subtle but crucial. Carrying feels like love. Guiding feels like you're not doing enough. But carrying creates dependence. Guiding creates capability.

You know you're carrying when the person can't function without your input. You know you're guiding when they gradually need you less.

The hardest part isn't recognizing when others need guidance instead of carrying. The hardest part is recognizing when you need to stop carrying yourself.

When you need to stop leaning on others' validation and learn to trust your own judgment. When you need to stop asking for permission and start taking responsibility for your decisions. When you need to stop waiting for perfect conditions and start moving with imperfect information.

Life's subtleties aren't hidden because they're complex. They're hidden because they require you to pay attention to what's actually happening instead of what you think should be happening.

The steps were never the problem. The grip was.

Two Quotes

1. "The truth is that I'm a coward. I'm a coward when I'm in the dressing room. But when I walk out, I'm a king." – Georges St-Pierre 

2. "Every film I do, I have to believe that I'm making the best film that's ever been made. Films are really hard to make. They are all-consuming. So it had never occurred to me there were people doing it who weren't trying to make the best film that ever was. Why would you otherwise? Even if it's not going to be the best film that's ever been made, you have to believe that it could be. You just pour yourself into it and when it affects someone that way, that is a huge thrill for me—huge thrill. I feel like I have managed to wrap them the up in it way I try to wrap myself up." - Christopher Nolan

Four Posts

To Building Fortitude.

 Best Regards,

Colin Jonov, Founder & CEO Athletic Fortitude