The Fortitude Chronicle: A Weekly Digest of Athletic Determination

Monday Momentum

For the Relentless Mind

Break Free From External Validation

We’ve built entire economies around chasing validation—likes, promotions, applause. Yet the most fulfilled people I’ve observed aren’t those drowning in external praise. They’re the ones quietly building lives aligned with their deepest values, unfazed by the noise of others’ opinions. Here’s why seeking validation is a dead end, and what to pursue instead.

The Math of Misery

Validation-seeking follows a simple formula:
Approval = (Effort) × (Audience Size)

But this equation has fatal flaws. Approval waxes and wanes with others’ moods. It demands constant recalibration—today’s standing ovation becomes tomorrow’s baseline expectation. Worse, it trains you to outsource your self-worth.

Contrast this with achievement rooted in identity-aligned challenges:
Fulfillment = (Growth) × (Authenticity)

The climber scaling a peak because it calls to them—not for Instagram—experiences this. So does the founder solving a problem that keeps them up at night, indifferent to VC trends. Their fuel isn’t applause; it’s the quiet certainty that this matters to me.

Presence: The Antidote to Performance

The Wisdom of Full Attention

Being present isn’t mystical—it’s practical neuroscience. When you stop mentally time-traveling (regretting the past/anxious about the future), you gain clarity.

A study of elite musicians found their best performances occurred when they were absorbed in the notes, not imagining critics’ reactions. Similarly, top trial lawyers report “flow” emerges not from seeking wins, but from total engagement with each question and objection.

How presence deepens wisdom:

1. Emotional granularity: Anger reveals boundaries. Grief clarifies values. Boredom signals misalignment. When you stop resisting emotions and instead interrogate them, they become teachers.

2. Pattern recognition: The parent fully engaged in bedtime stories notices subtle shifts in their child’s curiosity. The CEO present in strategy sessions detects unspoken tensions shaping decisions.

3. Response flexibility: Reactivity thrives in distraction. Presence creates a pause button—the half-second needed to choose patience over outbursts, curiosity over defensiveness.

Practice: For one week, start meetings/mornings/meals with 60 seconds of sensory focus—the weight of your chair, the coffee’s aroma, the timbre of a colleague’s voice. This isn’t meditation; it’s tactical awareness training.

Effortless Love ≠ Easy Love

The phrase “sharing love effortlessly” is misleading. Authentic connection requires effort—just not the kind we’ve been sold.

Validation-driven “love”:

• Performing affection for social media

• Sacrificing boundaries to be labeled “selfless”

• Mistaking shared trauma for intimacy

Identity-rooted love:

• Disagreeing passionately, then collaborating on solutions

• Sitting silently with someone’s pain instead of rushing to “fix” it

• Letting relationships evolve as you grow, without clinging to old versions

The latter demands courage to be seen—flaws, evolving values, and all. But it’s the only love that doesn’t drain you, because it’s not a performance.

The Unseen ROI

Chasing validation offers visible but fleeting rewards—a promotion, viral post, packed stadium.

Pursuing identity-aligned challenges yields invisible dividends:

• Compound confidence: Each small win rooted in your standards (not others’) builds unshakable self-trust.

• Quiet mastery: The woodworker who stops counting commissions starts intuiting grain patterns.

• Relational depth: Friends who’ve seen your unmasked self become living mirrors of your growth.

The Path Forward

1. Audit your “shoulds”: Any goal that fills you with dread (not healthy challenge) is likely validation-driven.

2. Practice micro-presence: Start one daily task with full attention—no music, no multitasking. Notice what you’ve been missing.

3. Love with curiosity: Next time someone frustrates you, ask “What’s this teaching me?” instead of “How do I fix this?”

True achievement isn’t found—it’s built through daily choices to honor your inner compass over the crowd’s applause. And ironically, the less you chase approval, the more meaningful recognition finds you anyway.

Two Quotes

1. “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain: when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.”- Haruki Murakami

2. “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” - Maya Angelou

Three Tweets

To Building Fortitude.

 Best Regards,

Colin Jonov, Founder & CEO Athletic Fortitude